Check Your Price Tag!

Some of you may recognize the following quip from facebook. It surfaced and was pretty popular just a few months ago:

"If you're not being treated with love and respect, check your price tag. Perhaps you have marked yourself down. That's right - It's YOU who tell people what you're worth by what you accept. Get off the clearance rack & get behind the glass, where they keep the valuables!" 

Before we touch on this, I have a few questions for you. Don't worry, these ones are for you to ask yourself! ;) How do you find yourself being treated? Who do you most often attract? Look at your close circle - who have you surrounded yourself with? Do you feel they represent you well?

I am asking these questions because your answers can be indicators of where you have placed yourself.

Many times, woman are mistreated because they allow themselves to be mistreated, whether consciously or unconsciously. Imagine this - you walk into Tiffany & Co and you spot a beautiful diamond. Now you know diamonds, and judging from this one's cut, shine, and clarity, you know it's worth thousands of dollars. It's expensive, but you know it's worth every penny... and you are willing to pay the full price. That is until you notice the price tag hanging from the ring. It's just been marked down. Now, what is your first thought? I am sure I can tell you what your first though ISN'T. I am sure your first thought is not - "This price is marked down too low and I am going to offer the full price instead!" Think about it, how many times have you seen something on the clearance rack and had the urge to pay FULL price?! ... I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess "never". Now why is that? Well, it isn't because you don't think the item is worth the full price - but why would you pay the full price when you know you can get it for so much less? 

There is a popular saying, "Anything worth having is worth fighting for/ working for/ waiting for/etc". The same is true as it relates to us women. How much more does one appreciate and cherish those things that they have had to save up to buy, that they've had to plan for, work for, sacrifice for - those things that weren't just easily given to them, but that they had to fight for. At the other end of the spectrum lies this quote, "Easy come. Easy go.". It's up to you to decide which end of the spectrum you fit in.

As women, we must know our own worth before we expect anyone else to do so.  But it doesn't stop at knowing your worth - you also have to advertise it properly! One usually determines the worth/price/value of something long before they actually see the price tag. How do you communicate your worth? In keeping with the theme of this post, let's call it "advertisement".

Whether we'd like to admit it or not - perception is key. I read a statement online somewhere the other day, that went something like this:

"If a person puts on a police uniform and walks down the street, he/she shouldn't be surprised if a person runs up to him/her and reports a crime... In the same manner, if a woman puts on a hooker uniform she shouldn't be surprised if she is approached as such." 

This can be considered to be a little harsh, but consider it "tough" love. Whoever made that statement was trying to make a point. Whether we'd like to admit it or not, the way we dress plays a huge role in the assessment of our value. This is not to say that because you dress a certain way, you are worth any less - but as the above scenario points out, why wear that uniform if you don't desire to attract that type of attention? Let's not send mixed signals. Instead, let's replace "trashy" with "classy". Dress for success. If you want to be taken seriously - take yourself seriously. Dressing in revealing clothing might get you attention, but all attention isn't good attention. This is why I posed the question, "Who do you attract?". Many times you attract what you advertise. 

Don't be afraid to be different. You are special, and deserve to be treated that way. Remember the more rare an item is, the more people are willing to pay for it. In this day and age, virtue is a rare commodity indeed. 

Proverbs 31:10 "Who can find a virtuous wife (woman)? For her worth is far above rubies."

Some say chivalry is dead and I sometimes wonder if virtue is laying in the grave right next to it. In my opinion, at best, they are both on the Endangered Species List! However, if we look on the bright side, it means we still have time to turn it all around. It begins within EACH of us as individuals - setting and raising the standards, not only for ourselves, but for our children, AND the men and women we interact with. 

Another thing to consider is "appreciation", defined as an increase in value (over time). Like other precious commodities, we should appreciate. We can do this in a multitude of ways. This process is akin to self-improvement. There is always room for improvement. We should constantly strive to better ourselves. There are so many ways this can be done. We can start on the inside; spiritually, developing and deepening our relationship with Christ. We can consciously set aside and increase our prayer time and time spent reading His word.  We can consciously work on our attitude and perspective - choosing happiness and positivity. We should try new things/experiences. We can also work on our physical being. Our bodies should truly be treated as temples. They are precious and we only get ONE. So how do we "appreciate" in the physical sense? We do so by watching or diets, eating healthy, and by exercising regularly. Actually, how we care for our bodies directly affects us mentally and emotionally as well. The better we take care of ourselves physically, the better we feel inside and out! Make up your mind today to begin to take better care of yourself! Appreciate yourself enough to see to it, that you appreciate.

Last but not least, check your placement. Just like a diamond doesn't belong in mud (think about how that would cover its shine), you don't belong in places/situations that cover your shine. 

Also we've all heard the saying, "birds of a feather, flock together." As unfair as it may be, here is where perception comes into play - again. Not only that but if you are constantly surrounded by negativity who do you have to pour into you, support you, encourage you, etc? You want to surround yourself with people who are going or have already made it to where you want to be; people who encourage you and motivate you to be and DO better. Think about it in terms of real estate - an unkept home, can bring down the value of the homes surrounding it.

Ponder this: 

Not everybody can afford you, deserves you, and/or can appreciate/recognize your worth. Therefore, not just anyone should have access to you. Are they even credit worthy?

I will leave you with these next few lines which were taken from a TD Jakes' poem. I did not include the entire poem, but it is called "Because" if you'd like to look it up.

Just because no one has been fortunate enough to
realize what a gold mine you are,
Doesn’t mean you shine less.
Just because no one has shown up who can love you on
your level, Doesn’t mean you have to sink to theirs.
Just because God is still preparing your king,
Doesn’t mean that you’re not already a Queen.

Let's Talk!

Do you know your worth/value?

What are ways you feel women advertise their self-worth?

What does "virtue" mean to you?

How can we, as sisters, encourage other women (each other) to value themselves (ourselves) more?

Do you think, that if women, collectively and as a whole, begin to raise the bar and realize/embrace their worth - bringing virtue back - that men would respond accordingly? Would chivalrous behavior replace today's norm?