10-Year-old Commits SUICIDE... What Can WE Do?

Ashlynn Conner (10) Commits Suicide: Family Says BULLYING Was To Blame

When I read this headline, I immediately felt sick to my stomach. My chest felt tight and I felt tears forming in my eyes. I cannot fathom a 10-year old baby deciding to end his or her own life (and worse, following through with that decision). I cannot IMAGINE the gut-wrenching pain her mother and family are experiencing right now. (May God, be with them.)
As I read the article, questions began to flicker about in my mind:

"How is a 10-year old even aware of suicide?"     

"How long was the bullying taking place?"   

"Did her mother know what was going on?"      

"If so, how did she handle it?"        

"What steps were taken to rectify the problem?"  

"If her mother did not know, why couldn't or didn't the daughter go to her mother?"  

"Did the mother of the BULLY know what what happening?"      

"If so, how did SHE handle it?"   

"Were the teachers aware?"    "Her fellow students?"     "Siblings?" 

WHAT CAN WE DO TO PREVENT THIS TRAGIC SCENARIO
FROM EVER HAPPENING LIKE THIS AGAIN????

For starters, I sincerely believe there is power in discussion. Purposeful - Evolutionary - Dialogue. That's why we are HERE. It's why this blog was created. Before I read this article, I'd never heard of anyone THIS young ending his/her own life. Unfortunately, it didn't take long (online) to discover, she is not the youngest to do so - not by far. Now that I DO know, now that I am aware, this new-found knowledge will cause me to look at these situations in a new light - realizing the FULL severity of the situation. BULLYING is no laughing matter. It is not to be taken lightly.

The Ministry of Education formally defines bullying as the following:

Bullying is typically a form of repeated, persistent, and aggressive behavior directed at an individual or individuals that is intended to cause (or should be known to cause) fear and distress and/or harm to another person’s body, feelings, self-esteem, or reputation. Bullying occurs in a context where there is a real or perceived power imbalance.

Definition of bullying from Policy/Program

Memorandum 144, Ministry of Education

The following links will take you to sites dedicated to spreading awareness, defining bullying, providing real-life solutions and information on getting help, webisodes for children, advice for parents of child bullies and children being bullied, and on and on. The information provided by these three sites is in-depth and extremely informative. Please check them out and share with others.

What is "bullying"?       Bullying - We Can ALL Help Stop It     STOPbullying.gov

Marjorie Raymond (age 15) Canada, Nov 2011... 

Ashlynn Conner (age 10) U.S, Nov. 2011... 

 Mitchell Wilson (age 11) U.S, Sept 2011...

Jamie Hubley (age 15) Canada, Oct 2011...

Jenna Bowers-Bryanton (age 15) Canada, Mar. 2011...

Phoebe Prince (age 15) U.S, Jan 2010

Tragically, the names listed above, are all precious sons and daughters who were bullied to death; each one driven to suicide after enduring intense bullying at school. Bullying is a major issue that does not receive much attention.

*According to statistics reported by ABC News, nearly 30 percent of students are either bullies or victims of bullying, and 160,000 kids stay home from school every day because of fear of bullying. 

* Bully victims are between 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims, according to studies by Yale University.
  * Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, resulting in about 4,400 deaths per year, according to the CDC. 

The bible tells us,  

"Train up a child in the way he should go,
      And when he is old he will not depart from it."                         Proverbs 22:6

There is also an African Proverb that says,

"It takes a VILLAGE to raise a child." 

 This is what brings us to why I started by saying, "We failed her." As a village, we have to do better. Let's not get so caught up in our own lives and the lives of our own children, that we don't notice the other children God places in our lives, who are hurting. Pay attention to the children in your life. Talk to them. Look them in the eye and ask them how they are doing... then listen. Really listen. Whether it be your nieces and nephews, the friends of your children, students of yours, children at your church, your neighbors, and the list goes on... We are the village. We need to let these children know that their life matters, and that we care. We need to let them know they are not alone and we are here to HELP. We can't brush them off. If something is bothering them, we need to be there with real solutions. If you see a child who is struggling to make friends, encourage your own children to seek them out, invite them to play, sit with them at lunch, talk to them, smile at them, etc...

It's so very important that we talk to our children. Know what's going on in your child's life. Teach them. Bullying is not okay. Teach them to stand up for what's right. Teach them to take a stand. Smile at the less popular kid. Teach them, to let someone know, If they see someone who's being bullied. Make sure they know to come to you if EVER a friend tells them they are contemplating suicide. That is not a secret to keep. Reassure them that as a friend, it is more important to ensure their friend gets the help he/she needs. Let them know it's NOT cool for anyone to hurt, belittle, harass, publicly humiliate, or otherwise bully anyone.

Hurt people, hurt people.

Let's begin the healing process. We can all make a difference, one person at a time.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” - Leo Buscaglia

Share your thoughts, experiences, and advice on bullying, depression, and suicide here. What are your thoughts and/or experiences on the subject?? Do you talk to your children about bullying? Have you or your child been the victim of bullying?? Is your child bullying other children? If so, how did you/are you handling it?

What you have to say, just might SAVE A LIFE. 

Need help? 
In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255
for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.